Back from my hiatus during the summer. I just didn’t have anything to write about that I felt was particularly interesting, so I left this blog blank for a while. What follows in this entry is, secretly, I hope, interesting to all of you. I guess I will just go ahead and say that I’m Asian, will be attempting to talk about race today, and do not have any intentions of offending anyone. (Although I know this won’t be enough of an excuse for most of you).

Also, because it is 6:41 AM in the morning, my word choice may not be all so great. Speaking of which, when I say “race,” I’m totally referring to the very shallow and socially-constructed definition of how we look on the outside, and for the content of this blog post, not addressing the fact that people can be multi-racial. This entry isn’t designed to be politically correct–I have trouble doing that anyways.

Watching the Olympics with my family was very interesting but more than that, it was infuriating. My parents are what I would call native/mainland/traditional Chinese, which means they believe that daughters (and to a lesser degree, sons) should obey anything they dictate, that Mao was a great leader, and that China’s human rights abuses and fakery in the opening ceremonies actually did not occur.

But I’m not saying that all native/mainland/traditional Chinese are like that. The point of the last paragraph was to say that my parents are not exactly the most open-minded of people. And that was never so painfully obvious in one of the swimming events, where the announcer mentioned South Africa, and my mom said, “South Africa? Ew. Don’t they all have AIDS?”

Oh my god. I was appalled. Everyone is entitled to their opinion or viewpoint, but as I’ve learned in Amherst, it’s a good and healthy thing to challenge those attitudes. So I immediately said, No, I don’t believe it that. My mom insisted again, “No, they’re all black, and they must have AIDS.”

Another incident–though less obvious this time. Every time a person with dark (read: “black”) skin won a race, my mom would say, “Oh, s/he’s actually not that black at all. I think s/he is actually kind of pretty…”

 What the heck is my mom doing? Is she actually trying to rationalize for herself somehow that a black-looking person could possibly enjoy international fame and glory? Is she trying to tell herself that it’s okay, the person is not too black, so that’s not too bad for her world? That now, she’ll feel less threatened? And what’s this default assumption about who is pretty/who isn’t based on skin color?

I have no answers and no more words.

I don’t know if you can imagine how incredibly angry and upset I was at this time. I don’t think I’ve ever realized how ignorant my parents were. Is it their fault? Maybe. They have access to the internet, they read news stories, and they can be informed people. But what it seems like to me here is the willful perpetuation of a bias. I’ve already been in a screaming match with them in which they told me, “Yes, yes I think all people do have AIDS!!! That’s what I think, DEAL WITH IT!!” But I don’t want to just deal with it. That’s not the way I approach things–passivity and all.

Most of all, I don’t want my little sister to grow up with such biases. She’s six, and doesn’t really understand the implication of a question she asked me while at the swimming pool.  She asked, “Hey, Indian people aren’t that good at swimming, are they?” Now, to explain why it’s significant that she brought up Indian people, I should explain that

a) she’s been watching all of the Phelps races, and I’m pretty sure Phelps is “white”

and

b) Plano, Texas, where I live, has a relatively large population of Indian and Chinese people

and that

c) my sister on numerous occasions has heard my parents say something derogatory about Indian people

Thus, those three elements combined make for this thought process in her six-year-old mind:

• White people win lots at swimming. Therefore, white people are good at swimming.
• Chinese people don’t win too much at swimming, so they’re pretty good, but not as good as white people.
• Since my parents don’t like Indian people, and like Chinese and white people, then Indian people must automatically be bad at swimming.

Maybe I’m being paranoid, but I can see how eventually she’ll replace “swimming” with the phrase “in general.” And no, I don’t intend to make any “white” people uncomfortable here. I just fear that she’ll grow up assuming things and never be aware of the assumptions that she’s making…

So, I’m interesting in hearing all of your thoughts on this. I end my rant.