Before I tell you whether or not I liked this movie, I must mention two things.  First of all, I apologize for not even thinking about this column for close to four months now.  My updates will now occur at the very least once a week.  Beat me if I do not stay true to this promise.  Second of all, I personally do not enjoy looking another man’s penis.  I don’t.  It doesn’t make me feel comfortable.  Indeed, it makes me feel rather uncomfortable.  I feel like my aversion to penises is not curious or unique.  It is simply the way I feel when confronted with a dick.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall (directed by Nicholas Stoller, starring Jason Segel, Mila Kunis, and Kristen Bell) contains seven separate cuts showing Jason Segel’s penis.  At least, that was the number I got to before I vomited on three Macintosh computers in Frost’s A-level.  (Now you know why they’re always “out of order.”)  One of the first scenes even features a bit of a performance on Segel’s member’s part.  Nice.

Every other review you will read of this film will give it between a B- and an A- rating and talk incessently about the recent popularity of the so-called “Apatow film.”  For those readers who have trouble summing up the concern to give a shit about each new generic C-movie released every six months or so, an Apatow film is one produced by Judd Apatow’s production company.  Each one bears his distinct signature, usually in the shape of a penis: inexplicably lazy or immature manchildren either lose or obtain impossibly attractive women who dote on them and love them for all their endearing faults.  Thus, through each ubiquitous addition to the ever-growing list of films with his name attached, Judd Apatow satisfies his fantasy of murdering his father and satisfying his mother sexually.  We now see why these movies are so frustratingly popular: according to Freud, the fantasy is shared by all men and many women.  Whether or not you buy that, it is pretty cool to think you could be a lazy, slovenly piece of shit and still end up having sex with Kristen Bell on a regular basis.

Kristen Bell as Sarah Marshall, someone it would be cool to have sex with on a regular basis.

In short, the movie is bad.  It shares so much with so many other Apatow films that I have to compare them (apologies if you haven’t seen some of these).  Most noticeably, Forgetting Sarah Marshall is a good half hour too long.  You may remember this awesome thing from Knocked Up.  I feel like the director and producer consciously try to extend the length of the movie in the hopes that it will legitimize it or make it something more than a subpar, gross grab for lowest-common-denominator laughs and humor.  If that is the case, the director and producer are wrong.  The end result is nothing more than boredom, disinterest, and eventual detachment from whatever emotional currents the film tried to establish.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall is overstated ad nauseam.  What I mean by this is, “I might have cared about Peter Bretter, played by Jason Segel, or Rachel Jansen, played by Mila Kunis, or Sarah Marshall, played by Kristen Bell, but the whole thing was so ridiculous I didn’t take much of it seriously.”  Cf., for instance, The 40-Year Old Virgin.  As awesome as Steve Carell’s performance was, it was about the only thing saving the movie a complete collapse into circus-like ridiculousness.  Which, by the way, is exactly what happens at the end, what with the sashes and barefeet and “Let the Sunshine In” from the soundtrack of Hair.

There are some genuinely funny moments.  Many of these are due to really great performances from the more extraneous characters played by the likes of Jonah Hill from Superbad, Bill Hader from Saturday Night Live, and Paul Rudd of Knocked Up fame.  The plot of the film is obviously based on the painful and inherently hilarious experiences of one or more of the writers.  The awkwardness and sometimes-uncomfortable-most times-comical irony of real life is expressed in the script adequately and funnily.  Segel’s performance is convincing, if for no other reason than that he looks like such a sad sack and talks like he has wet cottonballs in his throat.  Mila Kunis is not that bad either.  There is no real consistency in Kristen Bell’s character, however.  In the first half of the movie, she seems cool and funny and smart and unhappy that she treats Peter like shit.  This devolves into a one-dimensional performance that is easy to hate by the end, something the writers obviously included to facilitate a quicker and easier resolution of the plot.

A few of the relationships don’t make any logical sense.  For instance, Bretter eventually becomes good friends with Aldous Snow, an obnoxious, oversexualized Brit-punk douchebag played by Russell Brand.  The problem with this is that Aldous loudly fucks Marshall, Bretter’s ex-girlfriend, in the room next door at numerous points during the movie.  Also, I know this is probably one of the main points of the movie, but there is absolutely no reason Sarah Marshall should want anything to do with Aldous.  I understand that is what makes her relationship with him so horrible for Bretter, but it is just not believable.  I don’t buy it!

Would you be friends with the guy on the left if you were the guy on the right and the girl with the guy on the left’s hand on her ass was your ex-girlfriend?

I really want to know what people think about this movie.  By and large, I think most will find its comedic value outweighs the obvious deficiencies in the plot, writing, and acting.  I would agree for the most part: if I had seen this with a bunch of friends, we would all have probably had a great time.  I feel obligated to point out, however, that this movie was actually pretty bad.  Disagree with me!  Forgetting Sarah Marshall is playing at FLICS in the Keefe Campus Center at the following times this weekend: