So this is a bit late but i got lazy and i never finished it until now.

Before I begin, I will make an important note. There will be no Cristiano Ronaldo on this list. Clearly he deserves a spot — he was obviously the best player this season, but I don’t like Ronaldo. So I’m gonna scratch him from the list of potential players, because I have the power to do so. This will be a 4-4-2 XI andthe subs will not be runner-ups, but rather the best subs in the league.

GK: David James (Portsmouth)

The goalkeeper story this season is probably the most interesting story out of all the positions. The usual giants of goalkeeping in the Prem were magically toppled. Cech had his weakest season yet, which isn’t saying much but there’s no doubt he suffered a slump. Van der Saar played well, but I never found him to be particularly showstopping. Lehmann, well, is Lehmann. Not much to say there. Robinson proved himself that he’s the huge joke I always thought he was (obscure Czech goalie Radek Černý, now at QPR, played better for Hotspur). Tim Howard of course was a major part in Everton’s fantastic season but, honestly, he doesn’t match up to James. Friedel was simply #2 — he had some great moments but was honestly somewhat inconsistent. Not James; Looking at Pompy’s stats shows James’ class this season. Take a peek at the GA stats for all the midtable teams between 5th and 17th. Pompy had 40 GA, and the closest is Blackburn with 48. Pompy doesn’t have a great defense by any means (though Distin/Campbell is a very good center all the same). I think the rest explains itself.

DEFENSE

RB: Bacary Sagna (Arsenal)

I like to poke fun at Wenger for his random buys, and once again he picks up this kid for 6 million pounds of Auxerre.  Turns out he’s the best side back in the Premier League. Fast, defends like a motherfucker, and has ugly ass hair to complete the image. Of course, this was much to my chagrin; I picked Eboue for my right back in fantasy. Oops.

CB: Nemanja Vidić (Manchester United)

England fanboys can whine all the want — I ain’t putting Rio on this list. Rio’s good, but Vidic is a fucking beast. Just youtube him and watch the fan comps, and you’ll see what I mean. This guy tackles tough, he can jump over just about everybody, and he just looks like muscle for a Serbian gangster organization. Clearly, he doesn’t take shit from attackers. and it shows given that Ferguson has no problem playing him over Man U vet Wes Brown.

 CB: Sylvian Distin (Portsmouth)

I like my CBs to play rough. Distin plays often even rougher than Vidic; Since Campbell has been out injured often this season, Distin has taken over the Pompy defense and done a remarkable job given the relative weakness of the rest of the back 4. He had a great run at Man City, but Distin makes one of the best purchases on Redknapp’s part for the sheer fact he signed him on a Bosman.

 LB: Gael Clichy (Arsenal)

  LB is a pretty weak category this year, given that my boy Gareth Bale has been out all season. That being said, I was torn between Clichy and Evra. I like Evra more, but Clichy had a better season. So sadly I have to give it up to him.

MIDFIELD

LM: Joe Cole (Chelsea)

In a team consisting this season of mostly world class players going through their mid-career crisis, Joe Cole was an exception to the rule. Coming back from his long injury last season, we got a new Joe Cole. He was more cautious and mature, and this season it really payed off. Against a wildly inconsistent Wright-Phillips, an ineffectual Malouda and an immature Kalou, Cole looked like a fucking star on the wing. He often outplayed everybody else on the team, being the center of attack, the primary playmaker, and the source of what little class we (Chelsea) showed. In light of many great wingers this season, Cole might seem somewhat inadequate for a best-of XI, but the sole fact that we could look at Chelsea’s overall successful season and isolate Joe Cole’s performances as the brightest points is enough for me to select him for the XI.

CM: Gareth Barry (Aston Villa)

Although he’s been at Aston Villa for over 10 years, Gareth Barry was always a quiet performer. Last year he put in an average performance in the midtable team’s above average season and before that his years were almost just as unremarkable. Not any longer; this season has been Barry’s breakout year, a late bloomer at the age of 27. In a year of excellence in the Prem midfield with top notch performances from Fabregas, Hargreaves, Essien, Kevin Nolan among others, Barry has been everything you’d want in a central midfielder: great playmaking ability, an eye for pinpoint passes, and absolutely no fancy dribbling ability. It’s not a surprise Liverpool wants him badly; while he lacks Gerrard’s eye for goal, he makes it up in equal, if not better, playmaking ability than the World’s Best English Second Division Player of All Time (the Scouser himself). A midfield of Mascherano, Barry and Gerrard would be absolutely devastating, especially since Gerrard and Barry have proven their ability to link up well on the international field.

CM: Michael Johnson (Manchester City)

Honestly, this is the hardest position to fill this year. As I said in the previous pick, there have been a lot of fantastic CMs this season in the Prem, and it’s nearly impossible to pick the best two. But another criterion for this list that plays a major part is potential. Fabregas ripped it up, and he’s definitely got potential. But I like to be controversial, think outside of the box a bit. That leads me, of course, to Michael Johnson. This 20 year old has future English star written all over him; a lot of people compare him to Gerrard, which is not surprising: he’s tireless, can have unbelievable solo runs from one end of the field to the other and loves long range potshots. But I like to think of him as the new English Patrick Vieira; he’s got the box-to-box approach like Gerrard and Vieira, but he’s got the defensive mind of the French tank himself. Johnson has shown he can mark and tackle like the best of them, and anybody who has played me in FIFA or seen my France jersey will know I fucking LOVE Patrick Vieira. Expect him being picked up from one of the big teams in the near future.

RM: Ashley Young (Aston Villa)

This was a no-brainer choice for me; I’ve been a huge fan of Ashley since the last part of his time with Watford. He has a lot of class for an English player; he’s extremely good on the ball, he has a killer cross and a strong eye for goal. This season, Young picked up 8 goals and 17 (!) assists in 37 games, which by all means is an excellent result for such a young winger (2nd in the league in assists behind Fabregas). The 8 million pound transfer from Watford in the Jan ‘07 window was fairly quiet, but frankly it’s been Villa’s best buy since Mellberg. This is someone to watch for next season.

FORWARDS

FW: Roque Santa Cruz (Blackburn Rovers)

Although he was simply anonymous at Bayern (even behind, at times, the worthless Claudio Pizarro), Blackburn took a little chance and picked up this Paraguayan striker for 3.5 million pounds. And, what a surprise — it was the best purchase of the year. With 19 goals and 6 assists in 36 games,  he’s got better bang for the buck than the expensive Torres and it took less time for his true class to show than it did for Adebayor (who only cost around 3 million in 2006). He’s got a lot of speed and a killer right foot, and that’s honestly all that matters in the Prem. Hell, even his first goal of the season was after three touches after subbing in for McCarthy. My favorite striker this season.

 FW: Fernando Torres (Liverpool)

Who else could take this last striker spot? Torres was an absolute beast,  with 24 goals in 33 games. Not quite as good of a purchase as Roque given that he cost probably around 20 million pounds, but that’s probably selling Torres short. While Santa Cruz was truly Prem-class, Torres proved that he was absolutely world class. It was just scary watching him in the box, because Torres missed less than Titus Bramble defended correctly. The pace, the clinical finishing, the little turns and the trapping that just snuck him past the back 4 of any opposing team were often jawdropping. The only concern though this season was Torres’ necessity for good delivery; Torres can run fast, but he can’t dribble. And when Gerrard’s linking with Torres started to fade later in the season (at one point it was nearly telepathic) he became a bit anonymous at times, but it’d be impossible to argue he ever ceased to be a constant threat. Another problem? Torres’ success was so predictable. We all saw him in the Prem (I bet you I, at one time, predicted he’d be at Liverpool too), and we all knew he’d succeed. I like surprises, damnit!

SUBSTITUTES

GK: Carlo Cudicini (Chelsea)

Only at a team like Chelsea would Cudicini be second choice. Last season he and Hilario proved to be brilliant but aging goalkeepers during Cech’s absence. This season, when Cech was having his midcareer crisis (by which I mean he was having problems being fucking excellent, i.e. he had like two howlers), Cudicini put solid-to-great performances game after game. None of that Radek Cerny bullshit here!

CB: Martin Škrtel (Liverpool)

Just part of the proof that we are coming on the golden age of the Russian league. Škrtel looks like an angry skinhead, and pushes attackers around like one too. Recall Pogatetz in the Euro group stage this year; Škrtel is this, but not as reckless. With him, Carragher, and, another one of my favorites, Agger, on the same squad, I expect some crazy brutal shit coming from the Liverpool defense next season.

LM: Ryan Babel (Liverpool)

Start him, and he’s worthless. Bring him in the 70th minute when the game is tied, and he’ll win it for you. Weird shit.

FW: Brian McBride (Fulham)

Not particularly a sub this year, but since he was injured for 8 million years, I’m gonna put him here. Why does he get a spot, though? He came back at the end of the season and almost single-handedly saved Fulham from relegation. That wins a spot in my book.

 - Nathan