I’ve been told that the Champions League Final was a thrilling game. If so, I didn’t really notice it. Trying to watch the game in a strange city, at a strange time (the match ended after 4 am…Hooray!), with commentators talking in a strange language (yet, still easier to understand than a Geordie accent), I fear that the magic of the Final may have been lost on me.

What I do know is that good evil triumphed over really evil, so I suppose that’s a good thing. When it came down to brass tacks, Avram’s merry band of hired guns failed to get the job done as mercenaries are wont to do (just ask Albrecht von Wallenstein…if you understood that, please get a life). Sadly enough, scuttlebutt hints that Chelsea might not look like Chelsea next year. Fat Franky is allegedly leaving for greener pastures, which is good, because he can eat his weight in grain every day. Drogba is rumored to be leaving for some team in Milan, which makes sense, because a fast, physical, aggressive striker just screams “Serie A,” doesn’t it? As for the manager, Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride is over, and Avram Grant will return to his permanent home in a surprisingly comfortable fleshy sack attached to Roman Abramovich’s side (UPDATE: That didn’t take very long at all: Abramovich has quite the itchy trigger finger). Oh, and Steve Sidwell, who is, nominally, a member of the Chelsea squad, I think (I’ve heard there was a Sidwell sighting at some lake in Scotland…), will be going to a team that will let him, you know, actually suit up from time to time. Good riddance; it’s not like we’re talking about the Premiership’s ‘94 Expos here (except, I hope, in the sense of eventually having the team shut down and moved to another city).

On the other side, Giggs got to break Charlton’s record of ManU appearances and Scholes finally got his European Final start (*sniff* heartwarming). You know what? Screw this. The game’s over, and I can go back to hating the Bandwagoners Red Devils. We’ve had a dark, dark year, but the dialectic demands that the heroic antithesis (*cough* Arsenal *cough*) shall reign supreme next season (I can ‘t help it, there’s a GIANT statue of Lenin right outside of my hotel window).

-Ryan