It’s an odd position to be in, really. I was at Amherst for a whole year, and I made friends. I made connections. I became part of a community. Certainly has its problems, but man, that all that “Amherst is better than any school in the world” stuff they pounded into our brains during orientation (and every time is was possible to bash Williams) is hard to get out.
I know that the decision to avoid debt for my undergraduate degree was a wise one, but it’s hard to convince myself it was the best one when my Humanities Professor’s idea of a class discussion goes only one direction. Or when I put in enough effort to get a B- in Chemistry, but because of the huge curve, I end up with an A. Not that getting an A is bad, but it just doesn’t feel right. It’s hard when I’m stalking through facebook and can recognize 80% of the people in a photo album, but am lucky when I recognize a single face on the University’s Campus.
But I’m not good at letting myself feel sad about it, because I should buck up and make the best of the situation. And there’s nothing I can do about it now. Get over it. Move on. Carry forward… Can’t do that well when you feel like you left yourself in another state.
With an abrupt change of topic, I have to find summer work. I do still have my cadaver lab job, setting up dead bodies for physician training events in cities around the country, but that is only occasional weekends. So I have to get a job to fill the rest of my time, because though the U is cheaper, it isn’t free. Especially if I want to study abroad in the spring.