Finally regaining some of my mind, but today was only a little aggravating.

No, this isn’t going to be some well thought out blog, it’s just going to a minor rant with a feeling I’m sure many of us can attest to.

I find right now that I have mentally and physically exhausted myself, which is not a good thing with finals looming so close.

While generally I look at how fucked I am and go “Hahaha this is great :D” and then thrive off the insanity and the last-minute adrenaline, last night in dealing with the Bio24 Lab Write Up, I noticed I’d lost all of this drive.

Then today, after recovering some of it, I had no way of printing the appendix (58.5 MB, 9 pages of images, all super high res and quality and therefore accounting for the massive size of the word document), because my printer now prints diagonally (thus shoving the paper into the printer wall and tearing the side while still making everything that comes out lopsided), and the file was too big to send by e-mail.

Desperate, putting it on scratch does not come to mind, but instead I try zip-file compression (saves about half a meg, no good), then google documents (document size cap at 500 kb), and finally I just upload it to sendspace and tell it to e-mail it to myself. But as the clock ticks with about 50 minutes remaining until I absolutely had to turn in the file, and me in a panic, I watch as the upload speed slowly decreases over time, bringing the upload time from 8 minutes to 14 to 18 before I finally left, praying that it would speed up while I was walking to Seelye Mudd to use their color printer.

Note: My USB key is currently with Kat Wu, so I also saved it to an SD card in hopes that IT would have an adapter. Nope, they don’t. (My laptop just has a slot which is actually kind of cool, but not being compatible with the rest of the world so easily that way SUCKS >( )

I manage to print the primary document, and spent 10 minutes waiting in the computer lab for something to appear. Nothing ever does.

So with 20 minutes on the clock remaining, I head over to Goutte’s office, notebook and main report in hand. Tatiana is currently in her office asking for help, so I stroll by and go downstairs into Williamson lab to see if the document has arrived yet on a computer there.

No luck.

I surrender and turn in my lab notebook and the write up without any images. I dash up the stairs once again and knock on Goutte’s door though she was still busy, and just BLARBLEH-spew my omgprinter-file-deathdeathdeath story and she cuts me off and says it’s fine turn in the index later. I’m like REALLY she’s like yes and I’m like thanks

Still, frustrated to not meet the deadline, I head to Moore to see if I can find my USB key to facilitate this process. But remembering Mukta’s magical industrial printer, I head to her room first and ask if I may check my mail to see if the upload worked so that she can print it for me and then I can turn it in and feel better. She puts my life on hold with her Miller paper taking precedence. In the 10 minutes it takes of me burying my face into her bed in despair before I finally check my mail, the sendspace document must’ve finally uploaded, because it sat in my inbox contentively. I begin to download it as she continues work on her paper, BUT it goes at a painfully slow pace on the campus wireless, taking 25 minutes to download, the time in which Jamie Kostyun stops by, comes, leaves, goes to Life Sciences, and returns once again, seeing me in varying states of panic even with the assurance of extra time.

I end up sketching to calm myself a bit while I sit on Mukta’s bed waiting for the document to download. When it finally does, she finishes her paper only 10 minutes later, prints her things, prints my things, and I go to life sciences to find all the notebooks still there, uncollected, after the 4:30 time-mark she gave us yesterday as the time when she would leave her office (it was 4:50 PM). With a sigh of relief I include the second part of the assignment.

Still, the entire scare and forced patience left me completely dead. Even with the delight of dumplings and Chinese food that night, and a three hour nap, I have not managed to recover fully. That scare leaves me right now with a clouded mind that is not satisfied with the state of things. And that time recovering should have been used to advance this weekend, because I have an effective two days to complete an 8 page Servos paper and study adequately for organic chemistry.

But it’s almost over. That’s a sad thought more than anything.
Yet I’ll be here in the summer, as will many, many others. It’ll be a good time to chill with and get to know other people, along with those I already know.

Life… I tire of it. But I wouldn’t change a thing.

Sweet Dreams.